Breaking Barriers and Building Bridges

a guide to working in both the pink and shooting communities

Socially, the pink and shooting communities are both quite similar. Both are often insular and can be closeted, and both have a stereotypical preconceptions about what the other is like. Members of either group can feel threatened by a representative of the other group. Because you belong to two groups which are supposed to oppose each other, people are forced to question their preconceptions about whether shooters and pink people should be adversarial and why. Their confusion creates curiousity and gives you a chance to step in and explain your views, potentially building relationships.

When you appear in one community as a representative of both, you want to use your membership credentials in one group as credibility to break down the preconceptions they have about the other group. You enjoy a priviledged position as an ambassador from the "enemy" group who also has citizenship in this one. Make the best use of this position when negotiating with contacts from a pink or shooting organization:

• Be a good citizen. Build good karma in the community you are negotiating with. Volunteer your group's personnel to help with events. Help fund-raise or repair grounds or teach classes. Show your face around the community and be a good neighbor.

• Act like a professional, and present your requests to the Board of Directors, or other appropriate representative, as if they are straightforward and reasonable. The more businesslike you act, the more businesslike they are likely to act in return.

• Your contacts may act cold or hostile because they feel threatened. When you detect hostility, do your best to put them at ease and make them comfortable.

• When negotiating with a contact who is ostensibly hostile to your cause, do your best to put yourself mentally in the other person's position. Start by assuming the other party is a reasonable person and has a motivation which you may not agree with, but is consistent. Try to understand the thought process behind their positions, and if you cannot find it, ask them to explain it, with genuine curiousity.

• Remember that a contact does not need to agree with you to respect you, and vice versa. If you cannot get agreement, at least strive for mutual respect.

• Limit the issues on the discussion table. More than likely, you will never get full agreement on the entire range of social issues between any significantly large group of people, even within a pink or shooting group. On any controversial social issue, such as abortion or the death penalty, there will usually be a range of opinion in even the most liberal or conservative groups. Acknowledge this and point it out when necessary. Shooting groups should focus on shooting rights. Pink groups should focus on alternative sexuality. When a group starts to stray from its mission and pull in a broader social agenda, challenge them to stick to their core purpose. For example, don't argue whether homosexuality is right or wrong with the gun club - a large enough group of people will have diverse moral views on that - discuss whether this specific set of shooters, who happen to be gay, will be allowed to use the same facility with the same rights as the other shooters.

• Find common ground. When facing a potentially adversarial contact, do your homework and identify at least one area where you agree - there must be one. For example, most liberals support strong environmental protection - and so do must shooters. Start the discussion by referencing common ground, to defuse an adversarial stance.

• Think your positions through and be willing to examine them from other points of view. Practice arguing your position from different political points of view. Think, why would a liberal support firearms rights of pink rights? Why would a conservative, or a socialist? Do not attempt to argue your position using a political philosophy that your opponent disagrees with. Argue it using *their* system of philosophy, and you may make an impression. If you do not understand their political system, take the time to learn it before you have the discussion.

• Appear thoughtful, reasonable, and moderate. People from both sides may try to provoke you to confrontation. If you have thought your answers through and remain reasonable without losing your cool, you gain credibility.

• When you are asking for a concession from a contact, do not go empty handed. Appeal to the contact's self-interest by having something to offer them. For example, when asking the gun club to let you bring your pink group their regularly, offer to have at least 60% of the group members be club members, and actively promote club membership to the group. Or offer to run special events that are open to the public, such as "learn to shoot" days to get more members into the club.

• If your request is denied, fall back, but stay in the community, keep building karma, and look for a later opportunity to address the issue again. Have your group ready to step in heroically, but as your group and not as individual members, when volunteers are sorely needed for something. Remember that every year brings new board elections, and eventually you stop being "those queers" or "those gun nuts" and start being "our queers" and "our gun nuts".