Q: How do I start a new chapter?
A: Download the Pink Pistols Utility Manual and follow the steps in it.
Q: How do I donate to the Pink Pistols?
A: We do not take donations. Consider donating to your favorite charity, or taking a non-shooter to the range and showing them what it’s all about.
Q: I’m a reporter. Can I interview Gwen?
A: Maybe. Ask nicely. If you do a hit piece on the Pink Pistols, you may be shrouded as a result and never get another interview from her. Be warned.
A: Sorry, I’m old. Go watch reruns of “The Paper Chase”.
Q: Have you actually shrouded reporters?
A: Well, not literally, as in placing a shroud on them. But I have decided not to ever, Ever, EVER give interviews to some reporters again.
Q: Will you tell us who they are?
A: They know who they are. You get one bite from the apple. After that, you can just wait for Prince Bloody Charming to wake you up before I give you another one!
Q: Can I buy a (t-shirt/pin/stuffed animal/vowel) from you?
A: You can buy a vowel. $200, by Paypal. Vowels will be emailed to you. We don’t currently have any t-shirts, pins, or stuffed anything.
Q: Can I sell Pink Pistols merchandise?
A: Chapters can make shirts and such things for their chapter. I don’t want people profiting off the Pink Pistols. We’re an ethical commitment to individual safety and responsibility, not a shopping mall.
Q: Seriously, can I make t-shirts and sell them?
A: I’ll put it this way. If I ever get a call from the mild little man from Infernal Revenue, I’m going to send him to you. I hate paperwork and Imperial entanglements. (And yes, that was a mixed Heinlein/Star Wars metaphor. Sue me.)
Q: Are you tired, you sound a little punchy.
A: I’ve given about 30 interviews in the past 72 hours, and the Facebook group is nearly triple what it was before Orlando. I’m more than punchy, I’m into sleep-deprivation mania.
It has been a lousy few days, folks. People are dead. If I can’t laugh at the past few days a little, I’m gonna start crying, and when I start THAT, I’m not going to stop for a while.